It seems inevitable that just when it seems like you’ve got a handle on things, bam! Something happens to knock you on your butt and really put you on rocky ground.

It turns out yesterday was my day for it.

I’m losing my job in ten days. Well, nine now. The restaurant where I work is closing its doors because the private owner of it doesn’t want to mess with being the owner of a restaurant anymore. Apparently, we should be grateful for any kind of notice. The other one he owns received no notice; they closed as usual one night and then were told they were jobless.

Sigh.

I’m angry and disappointed the general manager didn’t tell us what has been going on behind closed doors for the last month, give us a heads up that we might be in trouble and maybe shouldn’t make any big, unnecessary purchases (like engagement rings) right now. It’s a small staff and it’s more like a family than your typical workplace. I understand she was in a tough position, but jeez. She says the owner refused to let her, but we all know he’s a huge jerk. I expected more out of her. She didn’t even call an employee meeting to tell us. I found out when I came for my shift and one of my co-workers asked if I had brought any alcohol.

I’m worried about rent and bills and diapers and toilet paper. I’m worried about how I’m going to feed my family next month. I’m considering taking back the rings we bought less than a week ago, even though the mister of this equation is staunchly refusing to consider that option. They’re just rings, and we don’t need them.

I’m nervous about finding a new job in a small town where places to work have dwindled for years, where rarely is the pay above minimum wage, a decent number of hours is hard to come by, and our most newsworthy occurrence in years is the recent, mind-boggling number of overdoses and deaths caused by heroin use.

I’m sad that maybe moving out of town for more job opportunities and less prevalent drug use might be the best option now. I really don’t want to do that, but my family comes first. I have two young, impressionable daughters to think about.

And it’s hard to admit all this. Hard to admit that right now, I don’t have any answers other than to put my resume together, go pound the pavement, and hope for the best.

It’s all I can do right now. Wish me luck.