Category Archives: Uncategorized

Playing “The Fool” Card

In Tarot, there’s usually (depending on your deck) a card titled “The Fool.” The most classic depiction of this is a young man with a knapsack looking behind him at a dog without realizing he is walking straight off of a cliff. This card could mean the guy’s an idiot for not realizing he is about to die, or it could mean that he’s aware of dangers but is trusting the path he is on will work out I’m the end.

It is a perfect representation of my life right now.

I had enough at my job. I tried so hard to do both of the positions they had forced on me, but the stress literally had me depressed and on the verge of crying all the time, which is not like me. I couldn’t sleep. I was barely eating. It was to the point I was considering going to the doctor and being put on medication to calm my anxiety so I could concentrate on the tasks at hand instead of staring at my computer screen frozen because I was terrified anything I did would be wrong. Huge red flag – I should not have to medicate myself to work.

I was talking about it with my sister-in-law and she mentioned they were needing a manager pretty bad at a new pizza shop her work opened a few weeks ago. I drove up there to apply and to my surprise also interviewed. A few days later I was offered the job and I was off on the next adventure in my life.

I’m so sad at the way it turned out at my previous job – I had worked hard, had some big successes, and it is the failures that will always haunt me. I liked working there, but trying to do two demanding positions as one person was too much. In my exit interview I begged them not to do the same thing to the next person. No one should be broken down like I was. I had no confidence left by the time I said enough was enough. It seems they took that to heart because they have now divided up my previous position into two.

My new job – managing a pizza joint in a nearby town – is a huge adjustment. I barely use any of the skills I learned at my previous job, I took a huge paycut, I work long hours on my feet and I get really bored sometimes when it’s slow. However, it’s a job and when I do get time off I don’t have to worry myself to death about what’s happening while I’m gone or try to catch up on less-critical work I wasn’t able to get to during the week. I can just be home and enjoy my family. That alone has been worth the transition.

I don’t necessarily feel like this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m not even entirely sure what my goals for that are anymore, honestly. This last six months has changed a lot of things for me and I’m on my way to becoming a new person because of those changes. Like The Fool, I just have to trust that things are going to work out. 

The theme of this blog is Life, Family, and Hilarity – so let’s get back to that, shall we?

Once Upon a Time Birthday Party

The big kid turned 11 a few weeks back, and for various reasons we didn’t have her birthday party until today. She’s obsessed with all things Once Upon a Time right now and requested that as her theme this year…not an easy thing to pull off. Walmart sure doesn’t carry those kinds of decorations and as seen in previous posts, I am so not a crafty lady! But I am determined and creative. I can usually throw something together and make it work out alright.

​I chose gold, black, and navy blue, and white for the colors since that’s what’s on the posters that I’ve seen. 

​I used apples as some of the decorations and as snacks for people, threw some fake rose petals down (Beauty and the Beast shout-out), and put out some chocolate chip cookies and store bought brownies for more snackage.

​Some of the kiddo’s stuff became decorations as well as more of the apples.

​The coffee table with the wicked witch’s apples.

​My unbiological sister helping me put together the cupcakes.

​I’m super proud of how these turned out…caramel apple cupcakes with roses on top! These tested me so much. When my first batch was in the oven, I went to pull open the door to see if they were done yet and I’ll be damned if the oven handle didn’t come off in my hand! The Mr. had to be my hero and fix it for me while I hyperventilated and wondered how in the hell I was going to fix the rest of my cupcakes! And you ever made caramel icing? It is surprisingly frustrating to unwrap all those caramels and takes forever to melt them down. 

​This was my absolute favorite part of putting together the party! The hearts in a box, ala Snow White and the Huntsman. The evil queen wants Snow White dead so she hires a hunter to kill her and bring her the heart as proof of Snow White’s death. So I came up with these little numbers – heart stress balls (for squeezability when you want to crush your enemies’ hearts) and filled the rest of the box with gold coins as a nod to the payment the hunter received for his dark deed. Thank you Amazon for having the perfect item readily available and shipped in two days! Lol.

All in all, the party was a big hit for the kiddos and I am so so happy it’s all over and done with until next year.

Minecraft Party, Take Two.

The last couple of years, the little one has wanted the same birthday party theme the big one had the year before. We had two Frozen parties, and now we’ve had two Minecraft parties. I’ve previously posted about Sophie’s Minecraft party (where I dyed my teeth green and made a cake so bad I looked for a toy dinosaur to stick on there and blame!), so at least I knew what mistakes I didn’t want to repeat this go-round. 

And I admit – I have a problem with procrastination. I always think I have so much time and then it bites me in the ass because I’m rushed and stressing. We seriously had NOTHING for this child’s party until the night before. I got out of work Friday and ran a few towns over to a Party City and decent-sized Walmart for decorations and presents.

The party was fantastic – we had just enough kids for chaos and screaming but not so many you couldn’t walk without knocking over anyone. Here’s some highlights:

​The cake mix – this time, I thought a green cake mix would be a fun surprise for everyone. I got nervous when it came out of the oven looking like mottled green and brown on top, 

​but when I was cutting it up to serve to the masses it was the vibrant green it advertised. 

​The blocks were part of the girls’ Minecraft playsets and the spider was A toy I bought for $10. It actually has wheels on it so it moves too. Brown icing and green sugar glitter made it more presentable. I wish I had taken pics after the candles were in and lit – it was so cool! 

​My little candle bundles. Red candles bundled together with a black one in the middle pushed up slightly higher to make a wick, wrapped with masking tape and I wrote “TNT” with a black Sharpie. Big hit!

​Our balloons. Regular colored balloons I took a giant (the biggest I have EVER seen!) Sharpie to. I inhaled so much Sharpie smell I started getting dizzy. 

​Now these little guys, I’m super proud of. While I was shopping at Walmart, I came across tiny cans of edible spray paint in the fondant section. I immediately grabbed them even though I wasn’t sure what I would wind up doing with it – but just look at ’em! Campfire marshmallows are bigger than the regular ones and worked perfectly for this idea. Then I just grabbed a small tube of black icing to draw on the faces. The kids went crazy for them!

​Pardon the bluriness, but you get an idea of how I decorated the ceiling fan over our table with poofy tissue paper balls and streamers torn into different lengths and tied to the fan blades. I went back and forth on whether I liked how it turned out, and there’s some debate on whether I almost set fire to the streamers while bringing the cake with the lit candles over to the birthday girl (I’m fairly certain there was no danger, but others watching disagree).

​Our table spread. I layered black tablecloth under the green (thank you, dollar store!) So both colors showed on the bottom, found a pot of green necklaces at Party City for St. Patty’s day I comandeered for the party because what kid doesn’t like to layer on the bead necklaces, bought pudding cups that I added icing to in our theme colors, and found jello cups in lemon-lime that were the perfect color. Everyone loved it, but the icing did start running and get a little watery-looking if not eaten right away.

​Party favors were a repeat of last year’s style, but almost all the candy was on sale this year and I didn’t make creeper faces on the cartons – I’d already inhaled way too much Sharpie and was afraid I’d go loopy! No one seemed to mind, but I wish I had done it.

So that’s my little’s Minecraft party in a nutshell. I also had green tassle banners over our balcony doors I didn’t get pics of, and spiders made out of balloons and streamers like the last time. All in all, the party was a huge hit and we all had a blast! Since we did so much ourselves it really kept the cost down which made me a happy mama.

A Stranger Called Me Fat Today.

That Mr. of mine plays a lot on the XBox and has made tons of friends on there…and a few frienemies. He has a headset so he can communicate with (aka, yell and/or boss around) the other guys on his team, and sometimes there are some heated moments. 

I guess today there was a guy on there making fun of autistic people. This immediately pisses off the Mr. He has worked with autistics for years and those people are near and dear to his heart. I’m not saying it was mature of him, but he turned the tables on the guy and started making fun of him. 

The guy proceeds to look my Mr. up on facebook (hello, creeper…) and make fun of me for being fat.

Yep. FAT. Wow…you’re a grown man and that’s what you come up with? I’m a little sad for him. Obviously he was so astounded by my big personality and shiny lady boobs that he couldn’t come up with anything better. 

Why does that always seem like “fat” is the default insult?  There’s so many better insults you can come up with! So disappointing, dude. 

So here’s my advise to him: take off the headset and go searching for those little bird eggs you call balls. You’re going to need them when you get tired of pounding palm town and finally venture out into the real world hoping for some female company that doesn’t involve “accidently” rubbing against someone at your local Walmart when you’re reaching for those hot pockets you’ll probably wind up going at American Pie style at. Grow up, little boy. In an actual fight, this fat lady would make you my bitch in about 30 seconds and then go make some cookies for my kids.

Just saying 😉

Kate Daniels is My Long Lost Bestie

I’m a bookworm. Always have been, always will be. I remember very clearly my sixth grade teacher once telling me to “get a life” when I turned in the number of books I’d read that week. In hindsight – what an asshole – but that’s generally the attitude I’ve always gotten when people uncover my bookish ways. Usually when they open my closet and see the shelves groaning under the weight of hundreds of books I’ve not been able to part with over the years. I may have switched to Kindle now (under duress!), but there is a certain magic in holding a book in your hands, the smell of paper and ink drifting to you as you turn the pages as fast as you can because you want to know where the story takes you next.

I also lean toward series of books, probably for the same reasons people get into tv shows. I want to see what happens afterward, I want to see characters develop and change. And one of my very favorites is the Kate Daniels series. If you haven’t read it and you like an alternate/world, little bit si-fy flavor, you’ll likely love it as much as I do. Particularly if you’re into mythology. The world building is these books is incredible, but the character development is just as amazing. Kate has insecurities and struggles just like us,  sometimes it’s hard to push through and let herself be happy, and she always gets knocked on her ass when she feels like she’s getting somewhere.

Hmm. Does that seem familiar to anyone else? No? Yeah, me neither.

Anyways, if you’re into reading you should absolutely give this series a chance. 

I Want a Love Like Carrie and the Girls

Who else likes to sit around in their jammies late at night and settle in for a Netflix or Amazon Prime marathon while they drift into (ahem…postpone) sleep? I’m sure I’m not the only one. Lately I’ve gotten into Sex and the City, which my fiance is still making fun of me for. “It’s just all about sex,” he says, “there isn’t anything else to it.”

But he’s completely wrong when it comes to this show. Yes, it features sex sometimes, but that isn’t the focal point. The focal point is Carrie learning about herself through her relationships. She’s continually questioning everything and in a very public forum – a weekly column in a New York newspaper – and judging by the popularity of that column and her ensuing book deal, her curiosity and explorations resonate with her readers.

Personally, it isn’t just the show I love but also my memories of watching the show in bit and pieces as it was being aired years ago. I was in high school and in the beginning stages of my own explorations. It was exciting to me. Inspiring. It was the first time I considered the possibility of being a writer and I took steps toward my interest in journalism to try it on for size. I took a year of journalism in high school writing for the school paper and even went away for a week one summer to a journalism camp at Ball State University (shout out to my Indiana homefolk!). It wasn’t the right fit for me. It turns out, I only like writing about things when I’m actually interested in them.

It was also the first time I realized that adults don’t always have their shit together either. They each go through their own set of problems that is reminiscent of the real world asskicking that happens when your expectations don’t live up to what actually pans out in your life – and it all works out ok in the end anyway. You make it work, one way or another.

And the main thread through the whole storyline is the girls’ friendship with each other. They may fuss and they may fall out over some pretty big issues at times, but they are always there for each other and always make time to be together. Wouldn’t it be nice if real life was like that?

Instead, it’s more like the end of How I Met Your Mother – all the closeness fades away as some have kids, some pursue their dreams at the detriment of everything else, and some just plain don’t change but your opinion of them does. That’s just life. It boils down to “being there for the big moments” and the next thing you know…you’re missing those too. In the end, everyone is just trying to survive their own lives while hanging onto the bits of the people they’ve been throughout the years.

I think that’s one of the many reasons audiences are drawn into tv shows the way they are. You get pulled into the lives of a core group of people. You evolve with them through their struggles, you grieve the loss of some and celebrate the joys of others. It reminds you of times in your life when you were those people on the screen. The adventures. The laughter. The heartaches. The friendships. The family you make for yourself.

So yeah, I’m gonna keep watching the same old tv shows in my pajamas and wax nostalgic about the way things used to be.

There are some damned good people back in those times.

 

 

K is for the Killjoys

We have a meeting every morning so management keeps updated about what’s going on when it comes to production, and one of the supervisors cane hobbling in hanging onto his back. Apparently he pinched a nerve and it is giving him all kinds of fits. He was constantly shifting and making pained noises. Very distracting to me (distracting from the doodles…those meetings are boring and have little bearing on what I do) so I lean over to the lady next to me, shake my head sadly, and say, “I think it’s time we put the ol’ boy down.”

She absolutely lost it. She had tears and was snorting, and I get dirty looks for basically shutting the meeting down for five minutes.

Killjoys.

J is for Job Opportunities…And Possible Jams

During my usual meeting with my manager today, she pulled the plant manager in to join us. It scared the padiddle out of me for a minute, but then they offered me a promotion.

Holy crap balls.

The catch is that I’m almost completely unfamiliar with the packaging I’d be working with, and I’d have to go to Detroit for training. I’ve never been there, which scares me.

Ugh. I hate decisions.

I is for I’m a Little Teapot

I’m short and stout. And tired of it. Every time I see a photo of myself it’s the firat thing I jump to, and I hate that about myself.

Why are women always so hung up on their weight? On appearance in general? One of my minions just got herself breast implants and it’s sparked a whole debate in my head.

I mean, I’m all for doing things that make you feel better about yourself. I guess I just always associated it with new experiences. A road trip, learning to play guitar, a new job.

New boobs never occurred to me. Maybe I’m going about this all the wrong way…