Thursday morning, I wake up like I do every morning. Grumbling, stumbling, and generally cursing the world in general. Have I ever mentioned I am NOT a morning person? I can’t manage to get all the crap out of my left eye, and it feels weird. Squishy. Big. Not the way my eyes normally feel in the morning. I go into the bathroom to pee, and bam:

This bad boy is staring back at me. Sorta. As you can see, my eye decided to be lazy as well as super swollen and bloodshot.

I fully admit that I freaked out. I woke up the mister, yelling at him that he needed to take me to Immediate Care.

“What for?” He asks.

WHAT FOR.

I look like Sloth from the Goonies from the nose up, and he asks why I want to see a doctor.

I kindly point out the gimpy eye.

He blinks at me. With two good eyes. I’ll admit, I kinda wanted to poke him in one just so we’d be more even.

So I throw on some clothes and am texting my mother, who works at the county health department and therefore has much quicker access to medical professionals than I do.

The conversation goes like so:

And she says NOTHING back after receiving the picture. Granted, she’s at work, but I’m her only daughter and clearly having a crisis.