Tag Archives: work

Playing “The Fool” Card

In Tarot, there’s usually (depending on your deck) a card titled “The Fool.” The most classic depiction of this is a young man with a knapsack looking behind him at a dog without realizing he is walking straight off of a cliff. This card could mean the guy’s an idiot for not realizing he is about to die, or it could mean that he’s aware of dangers but is trusting the path he is on will work out I’m the end.

It is a perfect representation of my life right now.

I had enough at my job. I tried so hard to do both of the positions they had forced on me, but the stress literally had me depressed and on the verge of crying all the time, which is not like me. I couldn’t sleep. I was barely eating. It was to the point I was considering going to the doctor and being put on medication to calm my anxiety so I could concentrate on the tasks at hand instead of staring at my computer screen frozen because I was terrified anything I did would be wrong. Huge red flag – I should not have to medicate myself to work.

I was talking about it with my sister-in-law and she mentioned they were needing a manager pretty bad at a new pizza shop her work opened a few weeks ago. I drove up there to apply and to my surprise also interviewed. A few days later I was offered the job and I was off on the next adventure in my life.

I’m so sad at the way it turned out at my previous job – I had worked hard, had some big successes, and it is the failures that will always haunt me. I liked working there, but trying to do two demanding positions as one person was too much. In my exit interview I begged them not to do the same thing to the next person. No one should be broken down like I was. I had no confidence left by the time I said enough was enough. It seems they took that to heart because they have now divided up my previous position into two.

My new job – managing a pizza joint in a nearby town – is a huge adjustment. I barely use any of the skills I learned at my previous job, I took a huge paycut, I work long hours on my feet and I get really bored sometimes when it’s slow. However, it’s a job and when I do get time off I don’t have to worry myself to death about what’s happening while I’m gone or try to catch up on less-critical work I wasn’t able to get to during the week. I can just be home and enjoy my family. That alone has been worth the transition.

I don’t necessarily feel like this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m not even entirely sure what my goals for that are anymore, honestly. This last six months has changed a lot of things for me and I’m on my way to becoming a new person because of those changes. Like The Fool, I just have to trust that things are going to work out. 

The theme of this blog is Life, Family, and Hilarity – so let’s get back to that, shall we?

It Was Beginning to Look a lot Like Unemployment

Holy Bejeebus, it’s been a rough few months. There was the wedding and finally being able to relax a little bit, but of course life kicks you right in the lady balls when you least expect. Darrick’s grandmother passed away right as I was transferred into a different department at work and he developed a sore in his foot (one of the most dangerous things for a diabetic) right within a few days’ span. When he finally notice something was wrong, he already had angry red spikes going almost up to his knee.

Darrick spent a few days in the hospital getting pumped full of antibiotics and wearing special leg booties that squeezed at intervals to encourage increased blood flow, then was released just in time for trick or treat. He’s been put off of work ever since because he can’t stand eight hours on an open wound.

Finances have been tight, but we are making it thus far. Unfortunately, being transfered at work for me was incredibly hard on me. A few months back they had asked me if I would be interested, but I wasn’t. Shipping is easily one of the most stressful areas of the place and will eat your life if you let it. I didn’t want to work all of those hours! Not with my two young girls. But then they cut my materials planning job, so it was either make the move or be without a job for the holidays.

And when you put it that way…

But oh, it’s been rough. You’re thrown in the fire and trying to figure it out. Every customer wants shipments made in a particular way with particular paperwork done and sometimes sent to particular people. Don’t get me started on overseas shipments! The whole department was dropping balls left and right while we juggled around each other trying to figure out our places. I was so stressed I had trouble eating and sleeping and just existed in a state of anxious, balled-up nerves, only to be told I should know more and be better at my job.

I almost walked out twice. The only thing that kept me there was being the only working parent at this time, and even then it was a close call. Darrick actually sat me down one night and told me how this job was affecting our family. My four-year-old said I never come home before bedtime, I would snap at my ten-year-old to the point she felt lile she couldn’t talk to me, and I didn’t laugh or make jokes anymore. All I would do is come home, eat, and go to sleep.

I refuse to be that person anymore. Family is my number one priority. I’ll work in McDonald’s 50 hours if I have to if it means we’re happier. I don’t care.

It flipped a switch for me, really. I had been so terrified of doing something wrong at work that I was afraid to do anything at all. So I just dove in. I restructured my tasks throughout the day and I’m leaving as close to my 8 hours as possible now. I’m doing my best, and if it isn’t good enough, then that should tell them something because I am not a slacker and everyone around there knows that. I’ve never been one to shy away from difficult or overwhelming tasks, which is why I tend to get the crappier jobs no one has previously done correctly. Sucks for me, but ok.

Since I’ve made the changes in my attitude and restructured things, it seems to be doing a lot better. I hope it stays that way! 

D is for Door. Mostly Because I Just Walked Into One.

We have a lot of automatic doors at my workplace. Usually, it isn’t a problem. They’re actually entertaining. The sensor doesn’t see you if you come at it from an angle and it’s funny to watch people wave and jump to get its attention. Occasionally people walk into it because they don’t realize the doors didn’t open. One day when I came in, a big panel was missing off of one – turns out someone had hit it with the forks on a hilo because…idiots? I dunno. I’m sorry I missed that one.

But I’ve never had a door start to open and then just stop until today. I had ny head turned talking to a lady driving the tugger cart and damned if I didn’t slam into it with my left boob. She dies laughing and actually has to stop the tugger before she accidently hits someone, I’m hopping around hanging onto my very sore and angry lady bit, and I realize that’s going to leave a bruise.

Well, shit. How am I going to explain that one?

Because while I didn’t mind being the butt of a joke because of my ability to hurt myself in strange and often inexplicable ways, I do occasionally like to be taken seriously by my fiance and I’m not sure he can do that if he finds out I walked into a door that automatically opens…even if it wasn’t my fault.

Stupid door.

Maybe I’ll just tell him a stray llama bit me. That’s believable, right?

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, the Office Life for Me (Sorta)

The household purge has been put on hold. Why? Because I think my job is trying to kill me.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoy my job and I’m good at it when people leave me alone long enough to actually do it. Unfortunately, this week our company has auditors in specifically to check out my processes, and I feel wholly unprepared for the whole experience. While I did create myself a job there, I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs done and all I need to know to get it done right. And now I have people watching over my shoulder and asking me questions I feel like I should be able to answer without hesitation. Oh well.

All I can do is my best, and I try to shine every chance I get.

I must be doing something right since they decided to keep me.

Resurrection Day

I’m alive, I swear! It has been a bit, I know. I’ve sat down a million times to write posts, but then this thing called exhaustion kicks in and I suddenly fall asleep. At nine o’clock. I’m like an old person and I’m barely thirty.

I got a job, sort of. It’s a temp job that started in the beginning of December and was supposed to last two weeks, but it’s still going. Of course, it was also supposed to be a data entry job….it isn’t. I literally wait around for someone to hand me stickers to put on boxes. Sometimes I do cycle counts and try to match serial numbers we actually have to those the fancy sheets of paper say we’re supposed to have.

It’s as exciting as it sounds. Lately, they’ve even let me scan boxes to help out the shipping people.

Guess I’m moving up in the world.

It isn’t a terrible job. I get paid well, especially for around my tiny hometown. I don’t stress out about it, and people generally leave me alone to do my own thing. It pays the bills.

I guess the problem is my old job. I miss it. I had a family there. We cared about each other. I felt like I mattered. Yes, I was technically replaceable, but I would be missed. Where I’m at now, it isn’t like that. I only talk to two or three guys there sporadically. Nobody really cares what I do as long as I get most of what I’m supposed to do done. It’s a little soul-crushing, to be honest. But it’s a job. It helps to support my family, which is what it’s all about. That’s the important thing.

Right?