Still Not Interested In Dating

We were driving down the road in the van, him behind the wheel. I was nervous, but had buried it under an attitude of super-casualness. I’d flicked my sandals off my feet and sat Indian-style in the seat, letting the hot air muss up the already messy curls I’d tried to stuff into a decent ponytail.

This wasn’t a date. Absolutely not. Never mind that I’d actually asked him to a movie, but we’d missed the start and gave up that idea. He’d suggested the orchard with the small zoo, but the potential for a romantic moment made me squeamish. I’d just gone through a brutal break-up and was in no place for anything remotely romantic. I was simply tired of feeling like a third wheel around my couple friends, and so was this guy. Surprisingly, we had never met before even though we had a big overlap of friends.

So we settled for going to a nearby town to grab ice cream and eat at the park. Honestly, I think I did most of the talking, and it was about my ex and everything I had been through. He was a great listener and told me stories of his own. We spent a couple hours just killing time and cracking up, then headed back.

At one point, I mustered up enough nerve to ask him what he thought about a girl who already has two kids by two different fathers. I admit it now – I’ve got some cracks in the casual facade I put on most of the time. It was a very important question to me, and by now I knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t give me a line of crap.

He didn’t even hesitate to think about it. He just shrugged and said, “Well, it means you’ve had two failed relationships. It doesn’t mean anything bad about you, especially after talking to you and hearing how much you love your girls.”

And just like that, my heart thawed out a little. Seeing the world from his perspective…it’s amazing. It changed me, changed how I saw myself. I couldn’t ask for a better man in my life.

And in seven months, I get to marry him.

It turns out I’m still not interested in dating 😉


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