I find myself really struggling with motivation this week. All week I put of my cleaning and errands because my workweek was insane. We had auditors in specifically to audit the processes in my department and it was nerve-wracking because my area is pretty much brand-spanking new here. No one knew what to expect and we were doing our damnedest to prepare for every possibility. It was exhausting, and I’m grateful it’s over and went well. I’ve had several compliments on how I’ve trained everyone under me and how smoothly the process went thanks to my people, and I’m over the moon about that. Recognition feels good when you’ve absolutely worked your ass off.

Since my week was so stressful, I put everything off for the weekend. Now that the weekend is here (and almost over) I’ve still not done anything I planned to. I’m so wore out, and allergies have kicked my butt. Now it’s snowing and especially hard to dig myself out from under the blankets.

Maybe it’s just time to pat myself on back and look at what I did accomplish this week instead of beating myself up for what I didn’t.

I know, I know…another one of those new year, new me posts. Boring, right?

But 2015 was a big year for us. We had a lot of disappointments, including postponing the wedding due to financial stresses that came up suddenly and Darrick becoming severely ill to the point he has been undergoing medical testing to see what’s going on. He has lost over 100 pounds in seven months and can barely eat anymore.

It’s also been a great year in some ways. We’ve both had big job changes that resulted in positive outcomes for us, the baby of the family started preschool, and the dog we adopted through a shelter a few months ago finally finished her heartworm treatment and got to come home with us for Christmas.

So now we’re gearing up for next year and outlining our goals. Obviously, we are going forward with finding answers about Darrick’s health. That’s our biggest priority now. We’re also looking into purchasing another vehicle for our family so our schedules get better.

One of my biggest personal goals is concerning this blog. Up until now, it hasn’t been a huge priority of mine. Life is busy between work and kids and trying to keep a household running, after all. That’s about to change, but not details on that later.

If you need me, don’t call. I’m busy drinking coffee and making nefarious plans in big binders. Muahahaha!

Summertime is magical to me. The greenage, the sunshine and heat, the smell of hay in the humidity, the thunderstorms all come together and seem to wake my spirit up, this year in particular.
I’ve finally been getting into the woods again, as seen in previous in my blog. What doesn’t seem like a big deal to most is a huge to me. I grew up exploring the woods. My grandpa would take me with him and I can remember being so small that he would climb up a hill and then wait for me to crawl up after him because I couldn’t climb them yet.

For me, going into the woods evokes the same cleansed feeling some people get from church. The physical exertion, the sweat, the beauty when you stop and look around, it calls to my bones and calms me. I always find the most interesting things to share with my girls on my trips, too. It’s fun to see their eyes light up and their interest rise.

With summer now in full swing, the berries are coming on. It’s a bumper crop year for raspberries with all the rain, heat, and humidity we’ve had here. Look at all these!

Those are milk jugs, gallon and half-gallon pitchers, and a four quart cooking pot. All from one trip my mom and I made on one area of our berry route. Crazy, huh?

But man, it comes at a price!

But if you want the good stuff, you’ve got to make sacrifices.

With the wedding just three short months away, money is of course a concern. Even a low-key like ours is expensive, and I’m worried that we won’t be able to have the wedding we really want.

So I decided to own a small, seasonal business selling blackberries to try to offset the costs of the wedding. We’re calling it BackForty Berries, and hopefully it’s received well. I’m so excited about it, but nervous as well. I just keep telling myself that I really don’t have anything to lose by trying.

So here’s hoping, once again!

Change is the only constant in life. It’s been said a million times before, and it’s still the truest thing I’ve ever heard. I’ll even take it one step further: Even if nothing changes, your perspective on life doesn’t stay the same. You get bored. You get restless. Things work on your nerves more. You start to experience less meaning in your life and yearn for something to make you feel a spark of excitement again, something to break you open and make you feel new again. Something that gives you hope.

The future Mr. and I reached a point where we had to make some changes.

His job was no longer working out for him. Don’t get me wrong; It gave him a great opportunity when he really needed one. It got him back into the field he wanted to be in, where he needed to be. He is one of the few people who genuinely cares about the people he works with and will absolutely go the extra mile to make sure they know that. But where he was, well, they didn’t recognize what a potential resource he is and certainly didn’t pay him what he was worth. When his employment place began recruiting new workers with no experience for more pay than what he made, he was done. He has nearly fifteen years in his field and has a  management background as well. He deserved more.

So I helped him polish up his resume and he sent it out to a few companies he was interested in. He lands an interview, and kabam. He rocked their socks off. Not only did they offer him more money than he had been making, but two days into his training they gave him a raise and put him in a leadership position within a new unit opening up in his company.

Freaking awesome, right? And the benefit package they offer is amazing. He is happier than I’ve seen in a long time.

I’m so proud of him. He is absolutely determined to get to the top in this company and he has the tenacity and the talent to get there. He’s sure got my support all the way.

As for me, my car finally got to the point of no return. The transmission was just about shot in it and lord knows, it wasn’t worth putting that kind of money into. Never mind the fact that I didn’t have the money to do it.

Also, do you know how hard it is to find a car you can make payments on when you only have $500 to pay down and a dying car to trade in? I may as well of been trying to sell an ocean-view property in Iowa to a blind man.

But we managed. We found a needle in a haystack and we got us a car.

Financially, we have a lot going on. It’s kinda scary. But we’re managing that too.

Life is looking up.